Family II: Becoming Healthy Role Models
Healthy communication is difficult when healthy role models are absent.” -Dr. Barbara Killinger
When emotions are ignored or crippled, we become flat and depressed. We no longer know how we’re feeling. The emotions build up inside of us. Eventually, when our “unknown” emotions come out, they often come out as anger and blames of the other party. And because of that, as a family, we reinforce the rule of hiding our emotions to avoid future “emotion explosions.”
Is this truly healthy?
I’d like to propose that healthy communication is when both parties can be open and honest with appropriate boundaries in place.
Healthy Role Models Within A Family:
1.Be Direct, Yet Gentle: Let other members within the family know that they are free to be who they are; however, you will voice out when you do not approve certain behaviours, and offer guidance/wisdom for their consideration. Either they accept or reject, you’ll love them the same. This facilities in building a cycle of unconditional love with freedom, and breaks the cycle of conditional love of one feeling failures means loss of self-esteem and love.
2.Develop Healthy Selfishness: Often in families, we’re taught not to be selfish, but to take care of others in the family. While that is good, we neglect taking care of our own happiness and health. We become busy pleasing others and eventually, we forget who we are. To be a healthy role model within a family, it’s important to let others acknowledge the respect and care you’re giving yourself to meet your necessary needs. This highlights the importance of emotional and physical health within a family.
3.Play: Playing and being silly is the essence of creativity and joy! Involving play in the family environment offers a sense of security within failures and mistakes. Children are often afraid to take risks, because they are afraid of making mistakes. While I do believe that work-oriented performances help ease insecurity, fear and guilt, it’s still important to have a good balance! Life isn’t just about building great characters, and striving for achievements. Having fun is equally important.
I’m sure there’s more tips to being a healthy role models, these are just a couple of them that I appreciate and value. Hopefully this was helpful for you.