Do you ever hear a little whisper in your head that tells you…

“I am bad if they don’t approve of me.”

“I need someone else to manage my life. I am not capable enough.”

“I need others to compliment and encourage me in order to be happy.” 

I’d like to propose that we are all born with the desire for affirmation. We all want to feel like we’ve achieved something well. Why? Because IT FEELS GOOD! It’s as simple as that. Everyone needs to be praised for the works they’ve done, that is a normal affirmation that we all need. Affirmation should act as a confirmation of something you already believe about yourself. Positive affirmation encourages you to explore and do more. It motivates you to grow, reflect and love generously. 

Approval on the other hand, is a heavily weighed opinion we desire to hear from a significant person(s) in our lives (eg. Your spouse, your boss, your friends, your parents). “Approval becomes problematic when people don’t feel good about themselves or the work until someone tells them that the work is good. They wait until an “authority figure” pronounces it good before they know that is it (and they are) good.”-Dr.Henry Cloud. This significant person’s words, actions and opinions act as a judge or a jury in your life. They have a seat in your heart as someone you’re constantly feeling the need to prove yourself to. Making you feel the need to strive to be enough, because you feel like you’re not enough.